Go ahead and say it

Everyone gets frustrated with other people at work. Sometimes, you just want to tell them exactly what you think. I found a great list of things that I only wish I could say at work.

  1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of crap.
  2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  3. How about never? Is never good for you?
  4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
  5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
  6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter.
  7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
  8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.
  9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
  10. Ahhh…I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again…
  11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t care.
  14. I’m already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
  15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
  16. Thank you. We’re all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
  17. The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
  18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
  20. I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.
  21. It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
  23. And your crybaby whiny-butt opinion would be…?
  24. Do I look like a people person?
  25. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.
  27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
  30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
  31. I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
  32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
  33. Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #1?
  34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
  36. Chaos, panic, & disorder – my work here is done.
  37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
  38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

It’s odd how many of these I could actually use while doing network support (especially #37). Of course, there is one day on the job that you could say whatever you wanted. It’s called your last day.

12.Jan.05 Humor

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2 Responses to “Go ahead and say it”

  1. Sangeeta | January 15th, 2005 at 11:11 pm

    :razz:At times, I feel like giving everyone a piece of my mind too. Wish I could do that. :cry:

  2. FREDDIE | January 16th, 2005 at 3:26 am

    Hello.

    Very nice blog :)

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