Politically correct seasons greetings

This is the card I’m sending out this year because I want to be sure I’m not offending anyone. I found it on this site.

Politically Correct Seasons Greetings
Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, racticed within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all …

and a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year _______, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great, (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform, or sexual preference of the wishee.

- DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTABILITY -

(By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.)

If all printers were determined not to print anything till they were sure it would offend nobody, there would be very little printed. – Benjamin Franklin

04.Dec.05 Holidays, Humor

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One Response to “Politically correct seasons greetings”

Ravindra Wickremasinghe | December 23rd, 2005 at 5:28 am
From me (“the wishor”) to you (hereinafter called the “wishee”).

Please accept without obligation, implied or

implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially

responsible, politically correct, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral,

celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most

enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular

practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions

and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or

secular traditions at all… and a financially successful, personally

fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the

generally accepted calendar year 2001, but with due respect for the

calendars of choice of other cultures or sects, and having regard to the

race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of

computer platform or dietary preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting you are bound by the following terms, that:

1) this greeting is subject to further clarification or

withdrawal;

2) this greeting is freely transferable provided that no

alteration shall be made to the original greeting and that the proprietary

rights of the wishor are acknowledged;

3) this greeting implies no promise by the wishor to actually implement any

of the wishes;

4) this greeting may not be enforceable in certain

jurisdictions and/or the restrictions herein may not be

binding upon certain wishees in certain jurisdictions and is revocable at

the sole discretion of the wishor;

4) this greeting is warranted to perform as reasonably may be expected

within the usual application of good tidings, for a period of one year or

until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first;

5) the wishor warrants this greeting only for the limited replacement of

this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wishor;

6) any references in this greeting to “the Lord”, “Father Christmas”, “Our

Saviour”, or any other festive figures, whether actual or fictitious, dead

or alive, shall not imply any endorsement by or from them in respect of this

greeting, and all proprietary rights in any referenced third party, names

and images are hereby acknowledged.

Signed and executed as a deed by:

In the presence of: Anatta